‘One can imagine the rising panic among residents when a dozen people reportedly dissolved into frogs over the course of two months in 2015, none of whom had previously reported frog-like symptoms but all of whom lived in Malton, Louisiana. A little harder to imagine, perhaps, is the hesitant relief of Malton doctors upon discovering that it had not been 12 people after all but, seemingly, the same person, over and over. The doctors quickly washed their hands of the situation, leaving it to local conspiracy theorists to name the being. The result is ‘The Malton Frogman.’
Malton residents are quick to explain that the common title may well be a misnomer. Many are of the opinion that ‘The Malton Frogman’ is really more a collection of mischievous frogs than a single living entity. Eyewitness accounts tend to support this theory. ‘The Malton Frogman’ only reveals its skin as it prepares to dissolve and is otherwise clothed from ‘head’ to ‘toe,’ often in a trench coat but occasionally in a more complex dress, stockings, cardigan, and bonnet affair. Twice, now, ‘The Malton Frogman’ has appeared in the uniform of a local pizza delivery company, arriving and dissolving on the stoop of baffled customers moments before a ‘Malton-mia’ pizza pie was to be delivered. Though its motivations remain a mystery, most eyewitnesses agree that ‘The Malton Frogman’ has impeccable comedic timing and little to no regard for human life.’
Hector and I are pursued by a hitchhiker for days past Malton. I never indicate any intention of stopping- there’s just no room on the bike. This doesn’t seem to deter ‘The Malton Frogman,’ who steps out at the last minute each time so that I have to swerve through a disassembling cloud of frogs. He’s shorter with each iteration, his volume of frogs decreased by those lost on impact, until he’s nothing but twitching baseball cap on the shoulder.
-traveler
